A minha vida nos EUA sempre foi de um vazio incompreensivel. vim viver para um bairro nos arredores de nova iorque onde nao fiz amizades e onde desde sempre me tentei excluir. As pessoas que vivem em newark sao dum pitoresco inclassificavel. A primeira pessoa que conheci quando aqui chegei assustou-me logo que a conheci. o Vizinho que mais tarde vim a saber chamar-se nogueira e uma personagem que parece extraida dum qualquer filme de terror pois tem so dois dedos e esses dedos hostentam duas unhas pontiagudas. Este ser estranho logo me encarregou das tarefas da casa onde vivia e reparei um dia que tinha uma curiosidade morbida pelo lixo alheio, que remechia parecendo procurar indicios de qualquer coisa. um dia estava tranquilamente a fumar a porta e uma mao tocou-me no ombro. Era uma mulher dos seus 70 anos e com um olho mais aberto do que o outro. Perguntou-me quem era de onde vinha e qual a meu actual trabalho. Quando tentava ignorar a senhora apareceu o vizinho e sentou-se ao meu lado. e vi que fumava a mesma marca que eu.

Paradise LostWe were a happy family .My father was the head of a Restaurant with prestige and I can prety much say that was a good job. He worked in the VIP restaurant on Airport of Lisbon, and we spent much time together, which does not mean, we hadn’t problems. There were constant helth problems of my mother-hypertension to the depression of the angina pectoris that were attenuated with the medication from Dr Piedade and with therapy and medication of Dr Daniel Sampaio. I was an happy teenager that alternated with states of deep drunkness in the company of my friends famous dj's and the new generation of punk musicians. Attended the University more for vanity than by genuine love for journalism, the university realized that it was not a question of causes but the pressure to have a story that the other day was more ephemeral and that no one matter. I confess that I am a frustrated philosopher. With nostalgia I remember the lessons of philosophy in secondary school where asking questions that the teacher-Goncalo- could decipher and his inability to solve the labyrints of my mind he gaves me a 18 that was not a 20 per principle. 20 is for God said Professor Goncalo with enigmatic pose. I end up being the spiritual guide of a group of troublemakers in Moscavide. They saw in me some success but of whom I hung up for reasons I will explain further on. Until that day came with a mysterious phone call:.- Hello want to talk with Mr Jose Fernandes - Who is this please? - Damasio eh eh eh - You must be mistaken - that’s the home of chefe Dantas - yes - He he he can i talk to him ... I'm talking about new york in America - Pedro you know any Damasio? It was my sister who answered the call and passed me the phone - Hello Mr. Damasio how are you ?!!!! My father is not at home - he is in work?- yes he is...- Eh eh he Patricia- what a big cromati! Pedro - I think he worked with our father Patricia –do you think we should call dadPedro-no .... we tell him when he gets homePatricia-ok At the time my mother was admitted to hospital Julio de Matos and was released that day after two weeks in hospital because her aunt had died one to whom she was very connected. My mother in addition to suffering from depression has post traumatic stress due to having lost two brothers in epilepsy when I was a child. We Catch-31 to Alvalade near the hospital. Pedro – I Wish I can stay in the beach with all this sun Patricia - realyPedro - you already knew your grades? Patricia –i failed...i’m absent to many times and now I am working ... Peter - what ????? Patricia-yes Pedro-where do you work?Patricia - in a clothing store in Columbus ... it’s a part-time job but i make good money Pedro-well, I knew that should go to the liceu Camoes Patricia – it’s not a school that i need now pedro... I want now to earn moneyPedro-But you have only 15 years patricia. Patricia-Pedro, someone has to do something ... the father is about to lose his job and is not asking for money every day that we help Pedro-Don 't worry that if by chance the restaurant closed, the father will get unemployment and then get something else Patricia-you live on the moon Pedro, our father with 48 years ...nobody will hire him The restaurant where my father worked was about to be bought by a chain of American fast food but he would receive a compensation fund and go to fill unemployment after nearly 30 years of well-paid work, would receive about 1500 dolars that was ,at the time a salary well above average. As I worked from 7 to 12 in the cinema bar where earned 450dolars free of taxes and pay half of my tuition and it gives me money for books and drinking for the week-end with my friends. We're not in any way with the rope in our throat as my sister suggested. Now there is a sensitive issue : how to explain the new situation of my sister to my mother.maybe she Understand her irreverence. As for my father i think he was aware of everything. Patricia always known well to give back to my father. The hospital was a large green space with some buildings where patients were separated by the severity of diseases and sex. In the arms of my mother were so ladies who mainly suffered from depression, some visibly sedated. When we arrived my mother showed a torn smile. It was his last day. When we arrived, the doctor called me to give me the latest recommendations. Follow with Risperdal increased a little dose of litium and would follow the treatment in hospital in July.She complains about the chages but unfortunately her current Dr no longuer belonged to the area where we live. This was the first contested measure by my mother since she was taken a long time in the hospital of Santa Maria and is fond of doctors. I explained to her that there were excellent doctors and that it would be well treated. Fill a series of paperwork and guided out of the hospital where we waited my uncle Mario. Uncle Mario- hi-girl how you feel then? Mae-I and, they don’t let me see Dr sampaio anymore. I will be followed by a doctor who I does not like.She dresses like a whore Uncle Mario- They have good doctors here ... and now you have to look ahead and let the sadness back. You know that hurts you to be too preoccupied with things. My wife helps whenever you need. My aunt Lina who was sister of my father and was married to the brother of my mother. was a lady with 53 years but appeared 40 with his blond hair and always looking good, and was the first friend of my mother when he came to the city of Lisbon .She was sister of my father who came from the same village, and who would marry my uncle (brother of my mother) and had a child of my age who was named Rui. Rui was my pal and my companion and he was studying computer science. At home, my mother get mad with my sister because the house she sais was a mess. We went to the dinning-room and drank coffee and ate a yogurt cake that my aunt had left ready the day before. Later we were visited by some neighbors: Dona Tereza who used to be a nurse in a babys hospital and by the way was very good looking. At 5:30 as usual I went to work . I spent some minutes at the bookstore and look at the new books. When I start working Juvenal asked me for my mother and the give the usual warnings. It was a quiet night and I read 30 pages of my new book. Juvenal came as usual at 11:30 and went to cash register to count the money. Juvenal- business is no good ... so you i can not pay the salary Falcao Falcao-, do not worry if you cannot pay me today I have some money... Juvenal- take a pack of cigarretes ... today I cannot pay the taxi Pedro-In the weekend we will have lots of people Juvenal-Bandeira Freire does not see anything he only puts sheet in this cinema Pedro- the new york Triology is going to be a good movie we will have alll the pseudo intellectuals Juvenal - ahh ok ok look you want to go drink a beer at Bairro Alto Pedro- we should go there, you know my friends went there .... Juvenal-I know the great suffering ....Peter- my father gave me some change I think that today the end of the night step by tecnicoJuvenal –you must be crazy Peter-the one that got me in the head is back and sometimes she gives me a free ride. She thinks that I and my friends are PJ's . she’s a very cute girl Juvenal-you must be in love pedro like me and laura Pedro-look i’m 20 years and I do not want to be tied to anyone Laura was cuety that Juvenal was hanging around with and would later marry and him. She used to come every day with girls who wanted to take me out. I had a catch at the time at Costa da Caparica and I do not like to be involved . Also they always scare me. I was with very high libido and then all weekends I would go to tecnico around 4 AM . We take the elevator to bairro alto and we went to Catacumbas Jorge was already there with a brazilian girl that studies at Universidade Nova de Lisboa. We sat toguether and we ask for 3 girafas and an imperial to Juvenal: Jorge -then-Mr. Juvenal the business is going well Juvenal- as normal Jorge - I go there on the weekend to see New York Triology at midnight. Pedro-I follow you and then I help to make the break with Juvenal Juvenal-jorge got some invitations and take your girlfriend Lavia - I love film Mr Juvenal Pedro- you will stay here. I was thinking of going to Johnny guitar Lavia-I wanted to go home to Brazilian house.Jorge - lavia one day we go to Casa do Brasil don’t rush!. Pedro-Juvenal do you want to come to Johnny? Juvenal - I will go home... laura is waiting for me Pedro - Ze Pedro will enjoy your presence.... Juvenal – no thanks ...se you tomorow at 6 Pedro-ok The night was pleasant and went into the street Marques de Abrantes. we went inside A Small Victory from Faith No More was playing and Henrique Amaro was playing. We went to the bar where Kalu served us two bourbon whiskeys Jorge started to negotiate a bottle of wiskie with Kalu. The atmosphere was calm until a group of German punks come inside and there the thing heated up. I think one of the guys had a band that would play in the next day Johnny Guitar. I went to the a spot and sounded the first achords of the Clash. Should i stay or should i go followed by Cramps with All Woman are bad. 2 skinheads start messing around with Jorge because of his tanned skin, Miranda, a promise of boxing that was the security gard at Johny take them outside and beat them up Pedro- it's getting warmer .... Jorge - they are two, we are two Peter-I do not think so... a gang should be out there. And maybe is better to call someone And then came with scarves that day Liverpool had played with the Benfica. We came out quietly to the sound of PIL” This is not a love song”. When we arrived the door, people seemed to be celebrating: we greet the security guard? Joaquim - I was alone I had those two skins Peter - good these guys do not interest anyone.Joaquim – So you guys go Peter-we going to gringo's. You want to come. Joaquim-ok guys good night and take care. The night is dangerous Jorge-ok ma man see you When we arrived at the gringo's a new girl was at the door. Today is only for customers - We are friends of Luis That the girl pulled us inside with some regret for the other persons who waited outside. The first thing I noticed after being there was the new decoration. A harley motorcycle was on the second floor. And photos of Elvis Presley everywhere. Peter - it's very rockabilly Jorge-sounds like Lavia - look luis is there Luis – you’re the guys Luis was my pal university and was a playboy. He also was a famous DJPedro-ok guys this Sound pisses me off. jorge – stay pedro Pedro - I have something to do tomorrow sorry xau I got a taxi and went to tecnico ... Mafalda was expecting meRonie Pedro- so hao was jail Ronie- good man they feed me Pedro- scoot told me that you were in jail Ronie- yeah i steel a bible Pedro- where??? Ronie- at mr pachanas house Pedro-but MR pachana's is my landlord Ronie-he is a pain in the ass that's what he is Pedro-you went to is home Rony- don't say anything Pedro Pedro- but scoot told me that you're in jail for steeling Cristmas goodies Ronie- no man i just steel a bible Pedro- ok man walking around with ronyScoot Pedro- Ei Scot how are you Scoot- can you give me a cigarete Pedro - the skinny one is gorgeaus Pedrot-who?? Scoot - the Skinny one at the Bakery Pedro- ahhh you are talking about Maria Scoot- yeah that's it Pedro-ahh Scoot- I went to Tony d's Pedro- They serve you good Scoot- Yeah i ate Chicken Barbeque with Srimp Pedro- yeah cool man Why don't you invite the skinnyScoot- I think she's married man Pedro-Have you seen Ronie Scoot - is in jail... Pedro- for What Scoot - for steeling cristmas goodies Pedro- thats bad man Scoot - can i get one moreBESIDES THE FACT THAT I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING, I CAN PRETY MUCH SAY I'M A NORMAL GUY.RONY IS A PAIN IN THE ASS. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND ONCE. HER NAME WAS MECY.HE WAS TAKING DRUGS AT THE TIME AND LISTENING TO OZZY. I PAID FOR HIS CIGARRETES AND EXPRESSO AND I LEFT THE PLACE.-DO YOU WANT TO HANG AROUND AT THE LIBRARY- NO I'M SORRY RONIE. I HAVE TO GO HOME-CAN YOU LEAVE ME A CIGARETE-I JUST PAY FOR YOUR PACK OF CIGARETES- OHH YEAHH THAT'S RIGHT ....I'M GOING TO MISS COUTINHO HOUSE SHE WANTS ME TO CLEAN THE BACKYARD-WHO'S GOING TO PICK UP RODRIGO-JENNY DOES....SHE'S BECOMING AN ALCHOLIC PEDRO....I DON'T DRINK OR TAKE DRUGS BUT I SMOKE, I'M GOING TO QUIT ON SAINT PATRICKS DAY-BYE RONY SEEU LATER-HEEY BILLYHE JUST SAW MISS COUTINHO SUN BILLY- HEY LOOK WHO IS HERE PEDRO BILLY-I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY RONIE...I'M GOING ...SEE YOU GAYS

Paradise Lost

We were a happy family .My father was the head of a Restaurant with prestige and I can prety much say that was a good job. He worked in the VIP restaurant on Airport of Lisbon, and we spent much time together, which does not mean, we hadn’t problems. There were constant helth problems of my mother-hypertension to the depression of the angina pectoris that were attenuated with the medication from Dr Piedade and  with therapy and medication of Dr Daniel Sampaio. I was an happy teenager that alternated with states of deep drunkness in the company of my friends famous dj's and the new generation of punk musicians. Attended the University more  for vanity than by genuine love for journalism, the university realized that it was not a question of causes but the pressure to have a story that the other day was more ephemeral and that no one matter. I confess that I am a frustrated philosopher. With nostalgia I remember the lessons of philosophy in secondary school where asking questions that the teacher-Goncalo- could decipher and his inability to solve the labyrints of my mind he gaves me a 18 that was not a  20 per principle. 20 is for God said Professor Goncalo with enigmatic pose. I end up being the spiritual guide of a group of troublemakers in Moscavide. They saw in me some success but of whom I hung up for reasons I will explain further on.

 

Until that day came with a mysterious phone call:.
- Hello want to talk with Mr Jose Fernandes 
- Who is this please? 
- Damasio eh eh eh 
- You must be mistaken 
- that’s the home of  chefe Dantas 
- yes 
- He he he can i talk to him ... I'm talking about new york in America 
- Pedro you know any Damasio? 
It was my sister who answered the call and passed me the phone 
  
- Hello Mr. Damasio how are you ?!!!! My father is not at home 
- he is in work?
- yes he is...

-         Eh eh he 
  
Patricia- what a big cromati! 
Pedro - I think he worked with our father 
Patricia –do you think we should call dad
Pedro-no .... we tell him when he gets home
Patricia-ok 
  
At the time my mother was admitted to hospital Julio de Matos and was released that day after two weeks in hospital because her aunt had died one to whom she was very connected. My mother in addition to suffering from depression has post traumatic stress due to having lost two brothers in epilepsy when I was a child.

 

We Catch-31  to Alvalade near the hospital. 
  
Pedro – I Wish I can stay in the beach with all this sun 
Patricia - realy
Pedro - you already knew your grades? 
Patricia –i failed...i’m absent to many times and now I am working ... 
Peter - what ????? 
Patricia-yes 
Pedro-where do you work?
Patricia - in a clothing store in Columbus ... it’s a part-time job but i make good money 
Pedro-well, I knew that should go to the liceu Camoes 
Patricia – it’s not a school that i need now pedro... I want now to earn money
Pedro-But you have only 15 years patricia. 
Patricia-Pedro, someone has to do something ... the father is about to lose his job and is not asking for money every day that we help 
Pedro-Don 't worry that if by chance the restaurant closed, the father will get  unemployment and then get something else 
Patricia-you live on the moon Pedro, our father with 48 years ...nobody will hire  him

 

The restaurant where my father worked was about to be bought by a chain of American fast food but he would receive a compensation fund and go to fill unemployment after nearly 30 years of well-paid work, would receive about 1500 dolars that was ,at the time a salary well above average. 
As I worked from 7 to 12 in the cinema bar where earned 450dolars free of taxes and pay  half of my tuition and it gives me money for books and drinking for the week-end with my friends. 
  
We're not in any way with the rope in our throat as my sister suggested. 
  
  
Now there is a sensitive issue : how to explain the new situation of my sister to my mother.maybe  she Understand her irreverence. As for my father i think he was aware of everything. Patricia always known well to give back to my father.

 

 

The hospital was a large green space with  some buildings where patients were separated by the severity of diseases and sex. In the arms of my mother were so ladies who mainly suffered from depression, some visibly sedated. When we arrived my mother showed a torn smile. It was his last day. When we arrived, the doctor called me to give me the latest recommendations. Follow with Risperdal increased a little dose of litium and would follow the treatment in hospital in July.She complains about the chages but unfortunately her  current Dr no longuer belonged to the area where we live. This was the first contested measure by my mother since she was taken a long time in the hospital of Santa Maria and is fond of doctors. I explained to her that there were excellent doctors and that it would be well treated. 
  
Fill a series of paperwork and guided out of the hospital where we waited my uncle Mario. 
  
Uncle Mario- hi-girl how you feel then? 
Mae-I and, they don’t let me see Dr sampaio anymore. I will be followed by a doctor who I does not like.She dresses like a whore 
Uncle Mario- They have  good doctors here ... and now you have to look ahead and let the sadness back. You know that  hurts you to be too preoccupied with things. My wife helps whenever you need.

 

My aunt Lina who was sister of my father and was married to the brother of my mother. 
 was a lady with 53 years but  appeared 40 with his blond hair and always looking good, and was the first friend of my mother when he came to the city of Lisbon .She was sister of my father who came from the same village, and who would marry my uncle (brother of my mother) and had a child of my age who was named Rui. Rui was my pal and my companion and he was studying computer science. 
  
  
At home, my mother get mad with my sister because the house she sais was a mess. We went to the dinning-room and drank coffee and ate a yogurt cake that my aunt had left ready the day before. 
  
Later we were visited by some neighbors: Dona Tereza who used to be a nurse in a babys hospital and by the way was very good looking. 
  

At 5:30  as usual I went to work . I spent some minutes at the bookstore and look at the new books. 
  
When I start working Juvenal  asked me for my mother and the give the usual warnings. It was a quiet night and I read 30 pages of my new book. Juvenal came as usual at 11:30 and went to cash register to count the money.

 

 

Juvenal- business is no good ... so you i can not pay the salary Falcao 
Falcao-, do not worry if you cannot pay me today I have some money... 
Juvenal- take a pack of cigarretes ... today I cannot pay the taxi 
Pedro-In the weekend we will have lots of people  
Juvenal-Bandeira Freire does not see anything he only puts sheet in this cinema 
Pedro- the new york Triology  is going to be a good movie we will have alll the pseudo intellectuals 
Juvenal - ahh ok ok look you want to go drink a beer at Bairro Alto 
Pedro- we should go there, you know my friends went there .... 
Juvenal-I know the great suffering ....
Peter- my father gave me some change I think that today the end of the night step by tecnico
Juvenal –you must be crazy 
Peter-the one that got me in the head is back and sometimes she gives me a free ride. She thinks that I and my friends are PJ's . she’s a very cute girl 
Juvenal-you must be in love pedro like me and laura 
Pedro-look i’m 20 years and I do not want to be tied to anyone
  
Laura was cuety  that Juvenal was hanging around with and would later marry and him. She used to come every day with girls who wanted to take  me out. I had a catch at the time at Costa da Caparica and I do not like to be involved

 

. Also they always scare me. I was  with very high libido and then all weekends I would go to tecnico around 4 AM

 

. 
We take the elevator to bairro alto and we went to Catacumbas Jorge was already there with a brazilian girl that studies at Universidade Nova de Lisboa. We sat toguether and we ask for 3 girafas and an imperial to Juvenal: 
  
Jorge -then-Mr. Juvenal the business is going well 
Juvenal- as normal 
Jorge - I go there on the weekend to see New York Triology at midnight. 
Pedro-I follow you and then I help to make the break with Juvenal 
Juvenal-jorge got some invitations and take your girlfriend 
Lavia - I love film Mr Juvenal  
Pedro- you will stay here. I was thinking of going to Johnny guitar 
Lavia-I wanted to go home to Brazilian house.
Jorge - lavia one day we go to Casa do Brasil don’t rush!. 
Pedro-Juvenal do you want to come to Johnny? 
Juvenal - I will  go home... laura is waiting for me 
Pedro - Ze Pedro will enjoy your presence.... 
Juvenal – no thanks ...se you tomorow at 6  
Pedro-ok

 

 

 

The night was pleasant and went into the street Marques de Abrantes. we went inside A Small Victory  from Faith No More was playing and Henrique Amaro was playing. We went to the bar where Kalu served us two bourbon whiskeys Jorge started to negotiate  a bottle of wiskie with Kalu. The atmosphere was calm until a group of German punks come inside and there the thing heated up. I think one of the guys had a band that would play in the next day Johnny Guitar. I went to the a spot and sounded the first achords of the Clash. Should i stay or should i go followed by Cramps with All Woman are bad. 
  
 2 skinheads start messing around with Jorge because of his tanned skin, Miranda, a promise of boxing that was the security gard at Johny take them outside and beat them up 
Pedro- it's getting warmer .... 

Jorge - they are two, we are two 
Peter-I do not think so... a gang should be out there. And maybe is better to call someone 
  
And then came with scarves that day  Liverpool had played with the Benfica. We came out quietly to the sound of PIL” This is not a love song”. When we arrived the door, people seemed to be celebrating: 
we greet the security guard? 
Joaquim - I was alone I had those two skins 
Peter - good these guys do not interest anyone.
Joaquim – So you guys go 
Peter-we going to gringo's. You want to come. 
Joaquim-ok guys good night and  take care. The night is dangerous 
Jorge-ok ma man see you 
  
When we arrived at the gringo's a new girl was at the door. 
  
Today is only for customers 
- We are friends of Luis 
That the girl pulled us inside with some regret for the other persons who waited outside. 
  
The first thing I noticed after being there was the new decoration. A harley motorcycle was on the second floor. And photos of Elvis Presley everywhere. 
Peter - it's very rockabilly 
Jorge-sounds like 
Lavia -  look luis is there 
  
Luis – you’re  the guys  
  
 Luis was my pal university and was a playboy. He also was a famous DJ

Pedro-ok guys this Sound  pisses me off. 
jorge – stay pedro 
Pedro - I have something to do tomorrow sorry xau 
  
I got a taxi and went to tecnico ... Mafalda was expecting me

Ronie

 

 

Pedro- so hao was jail

 

Ronie- good man they feed me

 

Pedro- scoot told me that you were in jail

 

Ronie- yeah i steel a bible

 

Pedro- where???

 

Ronie- at mr pachanas house

 

Pedro-but MR pachana's is my landlord

 

Ronie-he is a pain in the ass that's what he is

 

Pedro-you went to is home

 

Rony- don't say anything Pedro

 

Pedro- but scoot told me that you're in jail for steeling Cristmas goodies

 

Ronie- no man i just steel a bible

 

Pedro- ok man

 

walking around with rony

Scoot

 

Pedro- Ei Scot how are you

 

Scoot- can you give me a cigarete Pedro

          - the skinny one is gorgeaus

 

Pedrot-who??

 

Scoot - the Skinny one at the Bakery

 

Pedro- ahhh you are talking about Maria

 

Scoot- yeah that's it

 

Pedro-ahh

 

Scoot- I went to Tony d's

 

Pedro- They serve you good

 

Scoot- Yeah i ate Chicken Barbeque with Srimp

 

Pedro- yeah cool man

              Why don't you invite the skinny

Scoot- I think she's married man

 

Pedro-Have you seen Ronie

 

Scoot - is in jail...

 

Pedro- for What

 

Scoot - for steeling cristmas goodies

 

Pedro- thats bad man

 

Scoot - can i get one more

BESIDES THE FACT THAT I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING, I CAN PRETY MUCH SAY I'M A NORMAL GUY.
RONY IS A PAIN IN THE ASS. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND ONCE. HER NAME WAS MECY.HE WAS TAKING DRUGS AT THE TIME AND LISTENING TO OZZY. I PAID FOR HIS CIGARRETES AND EXPRESSO AND I LEFT THE PLACE.
-DO YOU WANT TO HANG AROUND AT THE LIBRARY
- NO I'M SORRY RONIE. I HAVE TO GO HOME
-CAN YOU LEAVE ME A CIGARETE
-I JUST PAY FOR YOUR PACK OF CIGARETES
- OHH YEAHH THAT'S RIGHT ....I'M GOING TO MISS COUTINHO HOUSE SHE WANTS ME TO CLEAN THE BACKYARD
-WHO'S GOING TO PICK UP RODRIGO
-JENNY DOES....SHE'S BECOMING AN ALCHOLIC PEDRO....I DON'T DRINK OR TAKE DRUGS BUT I SMOKE, I'M GOING TO QUIT ON SAINT PATRICKS DAY
-BYE RONY SEEU LATER
-HEEY BILLY

HE JUST SAW MISS COUTINHO SUN BILLY

- HEY LOOK WHO IS HERE PEDRO BILLY
-I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY RONIE...I'M GOING ...SEE YOU GAYS